Day 29

Here is a picture of the fruits (or should I say sweets?!) of my labour - babysitting. Having thought today would be a very empty day, it became really quite busy!

Morning: d-7 a-4

I was sad and guilt ridden. Didn't really want to go out later but decided I should. I really missed Lucy.

Afternoon: d-5 a-5

Made myself lunch which involved chatting to housemate. Then felt guilty not staying downstairs to eat. Then I had to leave to see Bibs. I felt a bit anxious throughout this. I think it was a combination of anxiety at being out with more activities to follow and feeling guilty that I might be alright. I also worried a bit about being boring and that certain people might not like me much.

Bibs had asked me to put some stuff in the black bin on our way out. This stressed me a bit. I used my gloves and then took them off and kept them out of the way. Something had blown away so I had then had to put my head in between the blue and green bins to get it. I felt tense about the potential germs on me.

Then I went to see Alice and Emma. The mood was pretty low which worried me and brought me down somewhat. I cycled off to the bible study prep meeting feeling very low. The meeting was ok but I felt delicate. It reminded me of how hard I have found it to sit through bible studies in the past as I have felt so low or so anxious. I worried how much better I might be now, given that I have been quite alright in bible studies lately.

Evening: d-4 a-4

Then I went to babysit. I guess my mind was taken off things a bit by being with the children. I did slightly have to countdown till their bedtime in my head though. Once they were in bed and I got to sit down and text Emma and Alice, I felt slightly better. Once home I managed to relax mostly. After I had had a shower! Although I ate too much chocolate as usual.

I must do thought records tomorrow!!