Crusty pipe

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10 rules of pipefitting

1 All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal centred around the hole.
2 All pipe is to be hollow throughout its entire length.
3 All pipe is to be made of the very best quality, preferably either tubular or pipular.
4 All acid proof pipe is to be made of acid proof material.
5 The OD of all pipe must exceed the ID otherwise the hole will be on the outside of the pipe.
6 All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam and stuff can be put in at a later date.
7 All pipe is to be supplied without rust, as this can be more readily put on at the job site.
8 All pipe over 500 feet in length must have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end so that the fitter will know it is a long pipe.
9 Pipe over 2 miles in length must also have the above words painted in the middle so that the above fitter will not have to walk the full length of the pipe to determine if it is a long pipe.
10 All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words "large pipe" painted on it. This is so that the above fitter will not use it for small pipe.