Slip sliding

When you f**k up. Those are moments when you realise what's really going on. Failure has a way of pushing you over, sending you down your long shortfalls, falling far below the places your ego thought you were smack into where you are. I made a stupid selfish error of judgement. I thought I was okay but I'm not. I need to grow up. This is why my life's the way it is. I don't like what I see in the mirror today, far less what's inside. Skin is one way of showing it. It makes me as ugly as I feel and creates an untouchable scab to scare them off in future. As a kid I remember praying for disfiguration in the manner of the martyrs. Part of me can't wait to be old and done with this hormonal slavery. I'm going to be alone and I need to live with everything I do as if I am a partner to myself. I need to start to make better choices, because I don't like this person.
4/10