My star

I have lost many things. I have lost hope, trust and happiness. I have lost people. I lost someone, that I never even had the chance to meet. Life have been fine, but I haven't been happy. I have been a robot, doing the things I have to do. I have transferred my pains, depressions, thoughts, tirednesses, my plans and my longings - they have been pushed away, to the dark and narrow hollows of my head. The robot haven't given me any chances to feel. Still the truth is, that in my dreams I scream, cry and fight. I try to reach for the little star that I know, will never bee mine. It's lost.

Still, one day while looking at the sky trough this big, dark and thick smoke cloud I notices a little star behind the cloud. I stopped loading the car, I stood at the empty parking lot and stared at the star. It was my little star. I could barely see it when the smoke cloud surrounded it, but it was there. I know that one star I have lost, but this little light gave me hope. Maybe there is more stars that will be mine. My little darlings, my treasures. Still recovering, but surely going forwards.