Tempus Fugit

A couple of weeks ago, at the start of my journalling, I had made notes throughout the day about the various people I had heard say ‘Ill be glad when this week is over’, or ‘i wish it was Friday’. I remember thinking at the time that it seemed such a shame that we have become so focussed on two days of the week that the other 5 simply pass us by. We are all guilty of this at times and there are many days during the working week or month when, for whatever reason at that moment, we would love to just fast forward and get passed it. I have done this. I will do this again. But I need to limit these thoughts as much as possible. I need to stop wishing time away.

Perhaps the hardest parts about living the life I now live is how little time I get with my children. This sadness comes with the positive that the time I get with them and they with me lets them have a more focussed daddy. They get a better me. The phone is almost permanently away, washing up gets ignored, tidying up gets ignored. Why? Because these things don’t matter. I have so much time without them that the time I do get with them should absolutely be just for us. There is an argument to say that this should have always been the case but life and complacency always seems to win over sense. The point is that now, the only thing that matters when I am with them, is them. On a Tuesday after school, those few hours fly by and my 24 hours each weekend come and go seemingly, in the blink of an eye: I do all I can to make those times count and we literally cram in all we can.

As part of Barnaby coming to stay for the weekend (see here for more on that), we had to take photos. We decided to head just around the corner to Collington Woods to snap him in various amusing positions and locations. The inevitable bickering over who was holding him ensued so the resolution was that they each took a paw and walked back to the car. For a few moments, I walked behind them and I as stooped to snap todays blip, had the realisation of just how fast these two are growing up. Emilio is 5 in a couple of weeks and Isabelle 9 in August. They are my babies and I am missing out on little bits of their life journey being a part from them the way I am.

I need to look forward to them coming without wishing my week away. The days I don’t have them are as important to me as the days I do, for different reasons. And, on the days I do have them, I need to ensure I am ready for them to come. We don't need to spend time in a supermarket or doing the routine jobs around the house. Get prepared, get everything we might likely need in advance and then when they arrive, play Guess Who, Connect 4, watch movies, eat popcorn, go for walks, have pyjama mornings, have breakfast in bed, do more of Isabelle’s Chemistry set…anything we like as long as it’s together.

I will, no doubt, reflect more on ‘time’ over the course of the year but hopefully I can put a few things right starting now.

Tempus Fugit. It really does.