Rainbows, Remembering and Running

My friend Lenny died 24 years ago today. It's a lifetime, 1990 was another world. I did not find out until 24 hours later about the car crash as there were no social media or mobile phones. I got a phone call from a friend to tell me that I wouldn't be going on a date with him that weekend afterall.... that's how she broke the news. I still didn't believe it so had to go and get the local paper to read it only to end up in a snotty dribbly mess in the newsagents. He was 18. . I only knew him for 2 years and I have known his parents much much longer now. After he died I organised a massive party at his parents so we could all remember him. He was an only child, his parents had lost everything. 18, we all felt so old, we all felt ready to take on the world and he never got to do that.

The same day he died, my Mum came home from hospital to tell me that my Dad had terminal cancer

1990 was a year that changed everything

Lenny dying and then Dad was a pivotal point on so many levels. I wanted to never let go of the memories and one thing I realised was that I didn't take enough photos of people and that I didn't appreciate what I had. I started with a photo obsession very soon after that.

So many years later I can't remember all the terrible feelings of 9.2.1990 but I do remember the double whammy

I have always since reconciled grief with thinking that the only answer is to live life In tribute as there is nothing else that you can do. I don't do it every day as I might but I do get better at it the older I get.

Life is there to be grasped, enjoyed, savoured and have every last breath of it wrung out of it.

9th Feb now is not a sad day and today has been a day of living ( did my first fell run - felt pretty bloody alive - harsh winds tend to do that ) and then sitting in the wind on the moors and releasing balloons for Lenny.

Grab it all, grab life, grab love, grab opportunity, for today we have it all

xx