Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Don't pretend you want to talk to me, I know you hate me."

"No I don't."

"Yes, you do, everybody does. It's part of the shape of the Universe.
I only have to talk to somebody, and they begin to hate me. Even robots hate me. If you just ignore me, I expect I shall probably go away."
He jacked himself up to his feet and stood resolutely facing the opposite direction.

"That ship hated me, " he said dejectedly, indicating the police craft.

"That ship?" said Ford in sudden excitement. "What happened to it?
Do you know?"

"It hated me because I talked to it."

"You TALKED to it?" exclaimed Ford. "What do you mean you talked to it?"

"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself
into it's external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length, and explained my view of the universe to it, " said Marvin.

"And what happened? " pressed Ford.

"It committed suicide, " said Marvin, and stalked off back to the
Heart of Gold.


-From "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"