Spiderling Marathon

At each AOG Olympiad, we always like to bring you the new test events, and this year was the first running of the sling (spiderling) marathon.

This is a most unusual event, in that the competitors are not allowed to train for the marathon – in fact they can’t, as they are only two days old. Personally, I do not believe the event has any credence and is unlikely to make it onto the official list of Olympic events, and as a commentator, I am probably going to get into trouble for having an opinion.

There was utter confusion even before the event got under way, with seventeen of the competitors disqualified for eating the starting official. The start was further delayed for forty minutes because the rest of the bluebottles went on strike, refusing to steward the event in support of their masticated comrade.

Three mantids volunteered to steward the event, but they kept nibbling the slings and the field was reduced by a further eleven. Finally, a wasp was commandeered to blow the whistle and in return was permitted to carry off one of the parents.

The whistle blown, the spiderlings ran in all directions. It seems that the official course had not been clearly marked out. Several spectators were consumed by the competitors and the race had to be abandoned.

Order was finally regained when a battalion of soldier ants were called in and the worker ants cleared up the carnage. A disastrous day at the AOG Olympics, bringing the death toll to date up to one hundred and thirty seven. A memorial service was planned, but was wisely cancelled, for fear of losing more onlookers to the hungry slings.

I am just glad that the commentary box was several inches away from the action and firmly locked. This Dave the dung beetle signing off. Have a nice day.

Dave