The slammer

Glad they've put carpets on the landings. Otherwise would be a bit noisy.
Glad there's a bar downstairs. Otherwise would be a bit thirsty.
Glad I don't have to share the shower. Otherwise would be a bit ... interesting.

Pity I don't get to stay here at taxpayer's expense.
Although, maybe just as well.


Malmaison, Oxford.
Cracking hotel. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the bar.