Stand In

When I awoke this morning, I was convinced it was around 7:00 am...it just had that feeling. The sun wasn't up yet but the pale grey from the heavens had descended on the rooftops of the neighborhood, giving me hope, tricking me into thinking that there might be some feeble rays in store. It was 8:30.

At 4:00 pm I happened to be looking outside again and I saw it. It broke through a tiny rip in the clouds, rested on my face for 5.7 seconds and then it was gone again. That was 2.3 seconds longer than it was out the day before. My image for the day was not going to happen.

It is not the warmth of the sun I desire, in fact, when combined with too much heat, I dislike the sun intensely and wish for shade or clouds. It is the gleaming quality it gives to photographs that I crave; the spots, the halos, the bursts, the flares, the magic.

Playing the part of the sun today then in this indoor shot, is a huge, hot, halogen lamp that burns holes in my retinas every time I use it.

I had a little chat with the Sun during the shoot. First, I was irritated at the blatant shirking of the duty of shining, then I realized that there was probably no contract between Earth and the Sun, no minimum hourly shineage indicated and very likely some resentment on the Sun's part for being taken for granted. Then I thought about how truly awful it would be if the Sun didn't rise tomorrow, how we would all be doomed. Oh great, I've set myself up for a night of apocalyptic nightmares.