Space: The final front ear

I love this car! Volumetrically unbeatable! On the way home I picked up a big armchair (that's the dark square in the back). Try doing that in a 320d (with all my work equipment still in the car too - I couldn't even fit all my work equipment in a 320d).
It does have its downsides after the BM though: Acceleration and handling.
I'd best describe the acceleration like this: There's a length of bungy cord attached to the front of the car. On the other end is a kindly and very willing old lady on a pushbike who pedals like the clappers whenever I put my foot down. It doesn't really matter what gear you're in either (but a pair of loose fitting trousers and a casual shirt would probably make the wait more comfortable).
Handling somewhat resembles an elementary particle in that it may be in several different entirely unpredictable locations in the coming seconds. That's just comparing it to a BMW though.
Aren't ears ugly squiggles of flesh when you put them somewhere other than the side of a head?