Published again

My 40 at 40 story was picked up by another magazine and the article was published today.
It makes me catch my breath when I see it in print.
My 40 list came about, as a way to take control and to do something positive when IVF didn't work. With the big 40 looming I came up with my fabulist. A bucket list but I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon.
I feel myself welling up writing this, reliving the phone call to say that it hadn't worked. Feeling as if my world and hope had fallen to pieces. The old cliche time is a great healer. It is, but nothing takes away the sadness that I will never experience having a child. But I am lucky that I have 2 very amazing stepsons who I adore and love as if they are mine.