I'm so gorgeous!

I know. You can't take your eyes off me, can you? I have the same trouble myself so I do sympathise! I catch a glimpse of myself in the water and I sometimes gasp when I see that handsome profile. I have those bright sexy eyes that get all the other birds going crazy! Such wonderful coloured plumage adorns me and I have a lovely big chest - not exactly a six-pack but having six of me would be just greedy! - with just a hint of dusky pink. Of course I have such shapely ankles and I keep my toes nicely trimmed.....

WHAT? How dare you?!! How can Gorgeous Me be usurped by the MOON?! That's outrageous! That horrible poor quality bathroom light just hangs up there looking lumpy and can't even be arsed to go out every night! I have never been so insulted in my entire life!

Right! I'm going to s**t all over your windows for that and I have been eating extra red berries with my Kelloggs Special K. Those windows will be hard to clean. HUMPH!! I'll tell you where you can stick your camera next time!

Track? A bit of Van Morrison tonight I think - Moondance