Now You Are Six

Dear Miss E,
You're six today. Growing up.
You are a complex little person. I could spend the next year writing and I wouldn't be able to quite say what I want to say.
You are beautiful but you don't seem to particularly notice! You have a very distinct style - not interested in fashion but liking things to look pretty and "go". You are happy in scruffy leggings and filthy t-shirts as you climb trees and splash in puddles.
You are sensitive. You feel things deeply which is a double edged sword - it's a trait that means you can empathise and offer comfort and help to others but also means you sometimes over react massively, perceive slights when none are intended and suffer from a paralysing fear of failure.
You often find it easier to pretend not to care about things rather than engage in something you find difficult or upsetting.
It breaks my heart to see you feigning indifference and toughness when I can see a very small little girl who does care and does want a cuddle and for Mummy to make it better.
I will never stop offering those cuddles and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it better.
You are very clever. Since those first baby signing classes and swimming lessons you have had a love of learning; always totally focussed on the teacher and taking it all in.
You try your hardest at everything you do - always enthusiastic and wholehearted. You like things to be perfect but you're learning to accept that that's not always possible.
You love rules - particularly ones that you make up! And while everyone else has to stick to them rigorously, for you they are ever-changing to suit the circumstances. But you do it with a smile on your face!
You are kind and generous and thoughtful.
Most of the time!
You love your little sister and she adores you. You are such good friends which makes me happy.
And you drive each other - and me - barmy!
You are so interested in the world - asking questions, reading, Googling things (note to self, parental controls!!!). You love to explain things to me as you make new discoveries.
You love reading. Most nights you end up under your quilt with a torch just wanting to read more and more. I love this about you. Although I wish you'd get a bit more sleep!
I was going to write that I wish you felt things less; could enjoy things more and not overthink everything.
But then you wouldn't be you. You wouldn't be my precious Miss E.
When you arrived six years ago I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea that I would lose my heart and care more about your life than my own.
You made me a Mummy.
Happy Birthday Miss E. I love you more than I can say and more than you can possibly imagine.
I'll never be hard to find.