Age. It kinda creeps up on you.

Yesterday I was having my eyebrows threaded
(plucked and tidied up to you boys) when the threader said:
'Do you want me to do your top lip?'

What?....WHAT? WHAT?

Stupid bloody woman.
How dare she? Surely you can see I'm smooth and youthful.
Here, pass me the mirror. AAAAAAARRGGH.
What the fuck is that on my lip?
A caterpillar? A cowpat? A minge? Fuck. Fuck.
When did that happen?
Pretty sure the last time I looked I was a hairless virginal princess.

Now I'm Stalin.