Oh are we just April fools

I could've bought a lovely fresh leg of lamb with the money I spent on daff bulbs and pinwheels last Fall. I could've!

I swear I put 75 bulbs in my most luscious bed, with a view to supplying Mum's room with massive bouquets of triple trumpets for the best part of April. I know I did. But, here's me, stood in the garden tonight and I can count the buds and blooms on both hands and one foot. A dozen at best. I could've managed a full count with only one foot, despite my missing finger.

If I dig about I'm sure I'll come across some fat, juicy, round, orange cretin .... with very short legs. (I'll kill 'im)

Poor Mum.

Oh, not to worry, she's fond of roses, too, and they'll be along in about five minutes.