Slacking in the Bahamas

That was the day the Big Nose Club split into two different factions.

Michael drove up to Jupiter to catch up with his sister.

And Vivian and I decided to go to Nassau for a day trip. Because we could. And I wanted to open an off-shore account (but it was a Sunday, pity, because I am quite sure that the First Caribbean International Bank in Nassau would have been more than happy to lodge my shiny USD10 bank note on my shiny new account).

We left the Miami Airport Embassy Suites pretty early, not forgetting behind our leftover 1 liter bottle of Heineken that was still left in the fridge.
Vivian offered to carry it in his day bag for the expedition (a Guiney's plastic bag with a spare t-shirt, a pair of sandals and his camera).

Back in the days, you could still get through security with liquids. And a family-size bottle of Heineken had not yet been declared a weapon of mass destruction. The guys from the TSA looked at it suspiciously, especially as it was barely 8 am, but they let the angel-faced Vivian through with it.

We did stick out a bit in the departure lounge, waiting for the AA check-in Big Momma to convert us from stand-by list nobodies to confirmed passenger. The rest of the party was of the more mature, more moneyed type. Seriously well-off Americans in their 60s/70s/80s, with the permatan/blazer jacket/gold Rolex look.

We eventually got our boarding passes and were the last two to make our way to the shuttle bus that would take us to the American Eagle turboprop going to Nassau.

It was pretty hot already. I remember vividly the wave of hot air that hit me as we walked together onto the apron. That's when I heard the explosion.

Vivian's Guinea plastic bag had decided to give up the ghost there and then.
There was no shaggin way it was going to the Bahamas.
The handles tore simultaneously, the Heineken bottle produced a surprisingly loud detonation as it met with the tarmac and we were instantly drenched in a shower of warm Heineken.

I will never forget the hilarity we created and the bus full of ageing millionaires all pissing themselves laughing as we fished out the camera, sandals and t-shirt from the mess of sticky beer and broken glass.

These people are usually a tough audience but we were instantly voted Most Hilarious Comedy Duet of 2002.

The flight attendant greeting us rapidly lost her smile when she took one sniff of us and our beer soaked clothes.