Up and Down

I have been all over the place today. I was fine in the house so decided to go and give blood after calling them to make sure I could, what with all the medication I am on.

After telling them the names of medication and what they were for when I was there, I felt everybody knew and they were looking at me. I couldn’t wait to get out, I felt so jumpy and just wanted to disappear. Ended up feeling faint after donating which never happens; that made it worse because I had to stick around longer.

Was better to get out into the fresh air but I had the overwhelming urge to hurt myself, was horrible. Walked further into town, got a bit of lunch in a quiet tea shop and got the bus home. I ended up in tears on the bus and I couldn’t stop.

Got home and collapsed on sofa feeling shaky and emotional. Today was one of those days that I could have done with some company.