There's a moose loose aboot this hoose

Everyone of a certain age who likes Wine Gums will now be humming a specific tune...

I'd just like to issue a great big thank you to the City of Edinburgh Council for doing a sterling job at clearing the pavements of the city during this latest cold spell. After all, it was forecast some time ago that there was the possibility of snow and, due to the very low temperatures, ice forming on top of, underneath, and throughout that same snow. That being the case the pavements around the West End could have turned into solid white pathways more slippery than Peter Mandelson's Y-fronts, with borders of slushy yeuch offering little more grip for those shod in anything less than crampons. But instead the Council has...

Oh.

No.

It hasn't. Arse/tit. Tit/arse. Fortunately not me, but there will be plenty. Mind you, snow in Scotland isn't major news (BBC this morning, "In Scotland they are used to lower temperatures and snow, but even here they're struggling to cope." Patronising fecking Aunty Beeb).

Really, who would have thought, colder weather in December. There's a first time for everything.