I've been in my new class set up of private classes and conversation classes everyday now for a few weeks. It’s certainly a better gig for me in many ways then a group class because I do get way more time to work on my speaking and still progress in the textbook therefore still learning grammar, vocab, reading and writing.

I think I am slowly progressing but I am definitely feeling the level 3 slump that everyone says happens. I can keep up with what is going on and while the grammar is harder these days, I can grasp that too. The slump comes from the fact that no matter how many hours a day I study I still don’t feel like I am very good at what I’m doing. People said this would happen at the stage of Arabic that I’m in. I was warned and I realizing that its annoying and bumming me out a little.

Some days I leave class feeling really like I did well. Feeling like I completely understood what happened. Felling like my conversation/speaking abilities are getting better, etc. That’s probably about 20% of the time. Another 20% of the time I feel fine about class and my progress. Not overly impressed with myself but not feeling horrible. The remainder of the time I find that I have indeed become insane and am talking to myself, “What is the point? Why do I care so much? Arabic is dumb! I don’t want to! When will I feel like I’m good at this? I wonder how bad my professors think I really am?!” hahaha

I laugh now cause I do feel a bit like I have lost my mind. I know this is said to be a very hard time in Arabic learning, but it kinda is no fun. I’m learning even more how important and necessary it is to have supportive people around you when trying to learn something so completely outside of your comfort zone. I little tough love and honesty can be good…but not a lot. At least not for me. Today I got really frustrated because of my professor was not very supportive today. She has a way of making little comments that are essentially asking why I am so slow at speaking? Seems harmless in some ways, but in situation of trying to learn a new and very difficult language….it does leave me/the student vulnerable to criticism. So I found myself really feeling like, “wow, am I that bad?!”

The rational part of my brain understands not to listen to semi-negative comments but the other part just east that stuff up and then mules over and over it until I really feel incompetent. So, that’s fun. I’m gonna study hard tonight but not make myself crazy over it. I have a thesis to be working on, so I’m going to make sure to get that done as well! There comes a point when you just have to forget those people and says “screw it,” ...and then do what you want to do.

….until I get to class tomorrow morning and wish I had studied more….but that’s tomorrow. ☺