Dirty Bertie

Me: Bertie...
Bertie: Yes?
Me: Have you been down by the river, by any chance?
Bertie: Nope
Me: Are you sure?
Bertie: Yep
Me: It's just that you got a little bit of something...just...there.. Hang on....there...
Bertie: Got it?
Me: Yep
Bertie: Thanks.
Me: You're welcome.......Bertie?
Bertie: Mmm?
Me :About that chair....