In the long run

In the long run
The cherry blossom falls like snow and it feels profane for it to clog my trainers and turn to brown mulch in puddles.
In the long run I loop park one (and a bit) I loop park two twice, I loop (and a bit) park three and I loop (and a bit) park four only stopping once to eat raisins like a horse from a bag and gulp down water so fast it burns.
In the long run I think. Mostly I think stop moaning, stop hurting, do better, stop aging, stop weakening, stop fattening but eventually the stops stop and I run because I am running and its a forward fall I can't stop, it's a doing it anyway, might as well, fail better motion. It's a dance. A long slow creaky dance but there it is. Neither fast or strong, only moving, just that.
In the long run I think about the long run. The great hurtful irony that I will be alone. Is it called iron-y because it cal hit you like one and it hurts? The great comfort that writing could be my partner (if I work at it, if I let it). The great big decision I need to make, that I think about daily, how to say it, when and how. But that it will and has to be said. That I am in need of purification and simplification in my life. Left to be, I'm okay. Left with 3 jobs, 4 creative projects and a big community of friends and family, I'm not good. I'm sinking quite frankly. Some pruning may be required to survive the next few months, financially and emotionally.
In the long run.. I am happier than I was. I lay big expectation traps and feel the vertigous cliffs of guilt and failure everywhere. But when off and going, I'm okay I think. Reasonable, getting there.
In the long run thus day was 2/10
Run, family stuff (sis and twins up) then class get together