She's... she's... Mum is...

GONE!

Not for good (unless she comes to her senses).
She's gone to see her Bro and his family in Barcelona until Sunday.
She misses her Bro very much.
So that was her birthday present.

But...but... but she's gone. And the going-away-for-three-days ritual was duly observed: 10 days of semi-sleepless nights of being woken up in a sweat following nightmares involving always renewed, ever more colourful and imaginative ways of seeing the kids killed/crushed/burned/poisoned/abducted while her distracted husband stares at his smartphone.

And there were also lengthy briefing sessions, interspaced with vehement outbursts of "Nic! You're not listening!!!" (true)

Thanks to the force of repetition and a few lucky breaks when my Samsung ATIV S unfortunately needed to be recharged, I think that she finally managed to drive the message home: I'd better not break or lose or otherwise damage any of the kids while she's away.

In the end, I came up with a cunning plan (I googled it on my phone while she was discussing at length the risks of landslides in the Dublin mountains this time of the year).
I took two A4 sheets of paper (seen here behind the distressed kids) and cellotaped them to the fridge, with a detailed agenda of what I was to do with the monkeys while she was away.

Only then did she begin to become less stressed extremely very worried about leaving the kids with me...

She shouldn't have been so stressed totally not trusting my parenting abilities.

Let's have a look at the Chart for Thursday:
- Clean the lunch boxes. Check
- Feed them penne and rashers any time between 6.12 PM and 6.27 PM. Check
- Make sure that they stay seated at the table throughout the meal (duration 17 minutes). Check
- Remember to transfer the kids' car seats from Pepe's car to our car. Shite. I guess I can get them off him tomorrow. I fell at the first hurdle...

Chill out Chica. They're in good hands. Even though they're mine. We'll be fine. Switch off, unwind, relax.
Mimi is the one who is the most in tune with her feelings. She tried a few fake cries to try and extract jelly beans out of me ("I really miss Mum, I think I need a treat to feel better"...) but then she was honestly expressing how the house feels when she said "it's as if the whole the furniture has been removed, the house feels different" I am quoting her word for word. Good on you Mimi, keep reading those books, it's not in a Sick Sigma course that you will learn about life. It's in the books that you are devouring every night.
And you Chica, take it easy. It's an order. Like the G&T that I commanded you to have on the plane. Enjoy your break.
I love you.