Happy Birthday Mum...

Third birthday without you and it doesn’t get any easier. I’ve thought about you a lot today and for the most part, it made me smile and at times laugh.

I had a massive clear out of my wardrobe this afternoon and finally got rid of a huge pile of clothes that I never wear but keep thinking I might. It made me think of when I cleared out your wardrobes and marvelled at the amount of stuff I had never seen you wear, not even once. Stuff you kept for special occasions but even then didn’t wear, preferring to stick with something familiar and comfortable. As I waded through my stuff today I was once again reminded of how like you I am. And not just in habits but as time goes on, more like you in looks and voice.

A quick glance in my small handbag mirror to touch up my lippy and there you are looking back at me. An unexpected view of myself in a car/shop window and there you are. Brushing my teeth first thing in the morning, you gaze back at me. That’s not a flattering look for either of us! :))

But whilst I kind of expected to grow more like you physically, (all us girls turn into our mothers eventually don’t we?) I didn’t expect to begin to sound like you too. And it’s not just the words and expressions but the tone of voice. Sometimes I speak and it’s just your voice that comes out. It always startles me then it makes me smile. It reminds me that you are never far away.

I knew my blip today had to be this little lilac bush. You chose it, planted it, cared for it till it bloomed so beautifully in all its perfumed glory. I admired it and you insisted I have it. That was you all over.

Well four years after taking possession of it, miracle upon miracle, I haven’t killed it and it’s about to burst into bloom again. Having said that, it is looking a little straggly this year so I have been googling to find out what I need to do to keep it in tip top condition. I couldn’t bear to lose it.

Happy Birthday Mum. Sleep tight. Love you xxx

Last birthday together