Round and round....

“I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that I often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness ... Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy.”
― Jane Austen

My whole life I have been crippled by shyness caused simply by a lack of confidence in every part of my being...It has been so bad the past few years that I hardly left my house apart from work and things with the kids, because when I am with my children the focus is on them and I blend into the back ground and can simply be a Mum, I know I can do that.

It has been improving slowly for the past few months, I don't stutter or blush as much talking to people, I don't always get that crushing feeling of inadequacy when I join a conversation that I feel I have nothing to add. Now my oldest is 16 it's becoming more important that I find myself again, when they fly the nest as they inevitably will, I will only have myself to hide behind and I want that self to be worthy.