Bolt & Beagle, Nico & Lewis

Some hold Usain for the fastest man on earth. I won't try to dispute that even after my morning coffein overdose. Evolution has been plaquing me today. How come Jamaicans are so fast - being West Indian born, I can claim to have some experience. It's simply not in the nature of a Weat Indian to be fast - happy go lucky, friendly, laid back, cheerful.... yes but fast? Never. Well perhaps with the exception of fleeing the police.

Talking of which, we are in danger of being in trouble. Angie still has winter tyres only rated for a max speed of 190km/h and it's quite easy to exceed that. Have to say once above 150 with 30°C outside temperature you don't freely want to go faster, the car swimming about worse than a Jeep at 20km/h.

Evolution - my father's caution chromosomes - has given me the gift of avoiding dangers like ladders, electricity and water and especially a combination of all three. I even ignore sensible German rules that winter tyres are needed from "O to O" October to Ostern (Easter). After all the "sheep's cold" is only 24 hours behind us, I have thrown caution to the wind and changed Angie's cars on to summer tyres. Risk remains - in July 1962, Kempten near here had 4cm of snow!

Change had to happen as son J coming soon and he would be horror stricken at having to drive a Renault but with one masquerading with Audi hub caps would add insult to injury. He has evolved and been able to throw off the caution gene and does crazy things like hot air ballooning. His elder sister had only partly managed the change. She is half way between - sensibly crazy but in the nicest way.

I have now received all my bee books and my theories on evolution were further confirmed. Most of the honey bees in Europe are Apis mellifera but there is a subspecies called Apis mellifera liguistca more commonly called Italian bees. These have been imported in to the UK in largish numbers to try and develop some of their positive characteristics. However you can't get away from the fact " They are quite gentle in temperament, build up rapidly in spring and are quick to rob and require feeding". I wonder if these or any other Italian genes would be usefully bred in to English footballers.

Sadly the William pit team were busy and though not far away couldn't help me out. I could have done with a bolt or even sting in the backside, taking as long as Usain needs for the 100m simply to remove one hub cap. Not my favourite job but it's done now and we should be free from the police, especially the Italians who introduced very heavy fines (up to 1600 Euros) from 15th May for many winter tyres.

Last year the cries were loud about Sebastian making F1 boring. I hope now that Lewis has been kicked in to touch by another German, that Williams does reemerge especially as they have a new (queen) bee heading up their hive.