Redundant

Nothing left to do but stare at the sea

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1 November 2009

Dear Abies alba,
It is my pleasure to inform you that we have chosen you as our new Christmas Tree Excellence Champion. The shine of your needles and the subtle yet penetrating fragrance of your sap have not gone unnoticed. We think that you best represent the leading edge of what our company has to offer and we believe that it is time for you to assume a leadership role.
We would like you to share this remarkable knowledge of yours with a team of Grade 2 Picea abies Coordinators who will look after your most tedious administrative tasks.
Congratulations!
Warm regards,

Matt Finnish
Vice President
Expenditure Control and Corporate Haggling


5 December 2009

Dear Quercus,
How are you cousin? Have you seen my new Linkedin status update? I've been promoted! I'm now Christmas Tree Excellence Champion for my region. I've been given a team of Picea abies to train. No bright sparks there, I'd rather teach a plastic tree to grow leaves... Have to run, I'm very busy these days. I have a conference call in 5 minutes and a business trip to the Picea abies production plant to show them how to improve the operations (they really don't have a clue).
Love.
Abies alba


7 January 2010

Dear all,
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a tremendous year 2010. You have demonstrated a lot of team spirit in 2009 to overcome the many challenges that were thrown our way in this difficult economic climate. Let's all keep up the good work in 2010!

Benjamin Hill
CEO


7 April 2010

Abies alba,
In the light of the current challenging economic climate, we have decided to accelerate our transitioning of operations to low cost centers of production. Our Picea abies production line has shown a lot of potential in the last two quarters with a 36% increase year on year and their competitive price base enables us to remain competitive and guarantee healthy return for our shareholders.
We are happy to offer you a position of Data Capture Sub-Coordinator at 20% of your current salary in our Picea abies factory. Would you for any reason decline this generous offer, your removal from the company payroll would be considered as voluntary.
That's it really.
Thanks mate.

Dermot McMorrow
Senior HR Specialist
PS: you have 20 minutes to clear your desk before you get escorted out of the forest


5 November

Dear Picea abies,
It is my pleasure to inform you that we have chosen you as our new Christmas Tree Excellence Champion. The shine of your needles and the subtle yet penetrating fragrance of your sap have not gone unnoticed. We think that you best represent the leading edge of what our company has to offer and we believe that it is time for you to assume a leadership role.
We would like you to share this remarkable knowledge of yours with a team of Grade 2 Picea omorika Coordinators who will look after your most tedious administrative tasks.
Congratulations!
Warm regards,

Matt Finnish
Vice President
Expenditure Control and Corporate Haggling