Le Porte Appin Cloob de Bissy Cletting

Everyone seems to have Tour de France fever today and the Le Porte Appin Cloob de Bissy Cletting has spared no expense to get in on the act.

In this exclusive view taken by French restaurant owner Papa Ritzy (Sponsors of the event) the winner, local cyclist Lottie MacFlorntit poses for the press while a crowd of enthusiastic race followers cheer her with gusto.

Millions lined the streets of Port Appin to see Lottie and she led the peloton from start to finish. The organisers are expecting even more riders in the 2015 event. Actually, Lottie was the only participant and she won because she pedalled down to the harbour for the family lunch (two fried Snickers, 4 large cod lots, extra baps and butter, double curry sauce and a six pack of Drybrough's Heavy). As she was spotted going to the Harbour Cafe in her skin tight yellow top everyone thought she was the race leader and she was grabbed by the masses.

Lottie said, "I fought them off at first, I thought the buggers were after my baps. But it's been fun, I've had a lovely day and hope to do it again next year. I might even get a bike without a crossbar. Must go now, my batter's going soggy".