Life According to G

1. There is only 1 sandwich filling. Anything else is weird.
2. Bishop, spaceship, same diff.
3. He is the cootest baby, except he's not a baby, he's 4.
4. Except he's not 4 because he was born on the same day as daddy, therefore he's also In Charge of Everything including, but not limited to, crisps.
5. Snails get their shells from the beach.
6. Once snails have their shells from the beach, they turn into beautiful butterflies.
7. All the new children at nursery are there to replace the ones that have died.
8. 22p will buy you a new house, a new car, Xboxes for everyone and you'll still have change for some Haribos.
9. You don't need to wash your hands. Just looking at the taps achieves the same effect.
10. No one else at nursery knows about loom bands so he has to make some for all his girlfriends and boyfriends. But the boys have to have boy colours and the girls have to have girl colours or the world will end.