Tick Tock

Not the best day. We are almost half-way through the summer holidays and I'm struggling to juggle the mum and work thing.

The boys seem to need to reinvent their relationship with each other daily - which involves a wearing dance of ignoring each other, goading, bickering and blaming before they eventually find some kind of equilibrium. I throw jobs at them, then try and ignore the indignant "Do I HAVE to vacuum the hall AS WELL?!". The hall is a 3m by 1m area which they have to cross to get from one room to another. How it is unreasonable to expect them to cross that with the vacuum cleaner switched on is beyond me.

I may have made them sit down and write out all the ways in which they helped me today. And then made them write down all the ways I'd helped them today. Short-term I'm not particularly proud of that one. Long-term it might have done some good. I have NO idea. I do know that I didn't set about it with the right mindset or for the right reasons. I did it to make them feel guilty. And ridiculously I wanted to make them feel guilty because I feel so desperately guilty that I've got my little boys here and I'm moaning about them when mothers in Gaza don't. And if you can understand that, then you are a better person than I.

Bugger. Still - there is tomorrow. And next week is a new week. With lots to look forward to.

Tick tock.