Igor

By Igor

DDW Challenge; in search of lost time (piece)

"For a long time, I went to bed early." Marcel Proust (À la recherche du temps perdu)

No, I haven’t read Proust, but I remember the Monty Python sketch.

Yesterday I went to bed (or rather, the sofa) for a long time. The cause, a tachycardic heart arrhythmia which lasted almost 24hrs. I’ve had 56 episodes in the past 3 years, which works out at roughly one every three weeks. Most are not tachycardic (i.e., over 100 bpm) and last no more than a couple of hours - just long enough for the pills to kick in. It’s been about 9 months since I’ve had a big one.

The worst part is the sense of lost time; being out of action, particularly when I have lots to do. I’m quite happy doing nothing when it’s my choice. I positively embrace inaction. Blaise Pascal (he of the triangle and therefore a smart dude) once said; “all of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Now you might say; “surely not. Could it be that simple?” Well consider this; a recent experiment at the University of Virginia gave 42 people the option of sitting doing nothing or giving themselves electric shocks. Two thirds of the men and a quarter of the women gave themselves shocks. I rest my case.

Yesterday, Anniemay went up North to see two of her sisters. In her absence I planned to get on with dismantling our shower room in readiness for redecorating and renovation. We’re going away on wednesday and there is much to do before then. So just sitting/lying down becomes the chore, the monumental task, rather than wresting with a washbasin and associated plumbing.

The anti-arrhythmia drugs have side effects one of which is best described as mental inertia - or ‘can’t be bothered’ syndrome. Musicians might recognise this as a loss of mojo. Concentration goes which is why reading, usually a pleasure, does not fill the void. So I fall back on that old standby, television. Luckily it’s the Tour de France which fills a good few hours.

It’s about 9.00pm when Anniemay gets home; all I have to show for the 12 hours or so of her absence is a large depression in the sofa, a pile of crumbs and an empty tub of Ben and Jerry’s.

And who knows where the time goes?

Thank you to everyone who left messages yesterday. It says a lot about human nature, especially when the World seems such a bad place. What I’ve described above is nothing in comparison with what others are going through right now.

"Our purpose in life is to help each other through this thing, whatever it might turn out to be" Kurt Vonnegut

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