The Daily Mail has a lot to answer for

I received this in the post when I got home this evening.

In some ways, I am grateful for it, because I had been trying to figure out how I could link my favourite ever lyrics from a song to my blip tonight. This little gift, full of pearls of wisdom gave me the perfect opportunity.

The lyrics ...from National Express by Divine Comedy, as song that I can never resist the urge to sing along to at volume...

"Mini skirts were in style
When she danced down the aisle
Back in '63.
But its hard to get by
When your arse is the size
Of a small country"

A completely ridiculous set of lyrics, in a wonderful song by a wonderful band.

Anyway, the article.

My mum, God love her, and I do love her to bits (and she is going to be reading this shortly I know it!), sends me wondrous articles from the Daily Mail. Things like this are the reason I don't read newspapers! I also received a leaflet about the Panama Canal, which I genuinely did appreciate - it is fascinating.

But imagine my reaction on unfolding the journalistic article pictured above (and I use that term loosely). The first thing I did was laugh. Then I said "Are you trying to tell me something mother?" (which was of course pointless as she lives in Spain and can't hear me. Is talking to yourself a sign of stress?). Then I looked at my backside and sucked my tummy in.

So, in answer to the question, No, stress is NOT making me fat. Indeed, it feels like I am the least fat I have ever been since I was 18. I'm a stone lighter than I was when I got married the first time (in fact I am about 15 stone lighter in real terms!!!!). I am 2 lbs heavier than when I was at my lowest point having not eaten properly for 5 months due to my ridiculous gallstones. I'm exercising. I am eating reasonably well. I'm taking my multivits. I have reflexology once a fortnight, acupuncture once per week and I do make time to relax more often. In fact, I am not only the 'least fat' I have ever been, but I think I am actually the least stressed I have ever been. I have made a conscious decision over the past few months, particularly since all the fuss over my health in September and October, to try not to let work things wind me up, to say "no" or "it can wait" when I know that there is no more I can do in a day and when people or situations potentially get me to the point of my head blowing off, I mentally step back and avoid the blow-up, mostly. Even with the teenagers at work (although clearly one or two just need a bloody good shouting at!)

Fortunately, I know my mum is well meaning. Although to find that she had circled the heading that said "Miss Frantic" and added the comment "this sounds like you" could perhaps have been mis-interpreted. I'm not frantic. Just sometimes very busy. Aren't we all?

Had I been a stresshead, I'd have used the telephone device to converse long distance with Mater to say "What are you trying to say?!"

Anyway, me and my arse that is not the size of a small country are going downstairs now to get a strawberry mousse and a cup of tea before ringing Grandma to sing happy birthday (that's what Corin wants to do).

Strawberry mousse. Now THAT might make me fat :-)