To be résuméd.......

Here, as promised to Mr Backwoodsman, is a brief résumé of the story so far.....

Marta is approaching 40. A spinster of this parish, she's the owner of a catering business with her friend Amy (who is married to Aidan), but is rather fed up with life (having been ripped off and then dumped by her ex boyfriend, who had an affair with a dog groomer called Virginia) and is desperately looking for a new interest.

She hears about Blip, and joins up. Her first subber is the rather dull Nugget, and her first photo is of her smarty pants feline friend, Genghis Khat (real name Mr Evans.)

Marta's mother Dora, (someone who never gives a compliment if an insult will do), was abandoned after six weeks of married misery, by Carmelo, Marta's Spanish father. She has a widowed sister, Lillian, who unbeknownst to Dora, has signed them both up to a speed dating evening.

We have recently learned that Marta spent the previous weekend with someone called Jamie....

There. I think that's everything covered so far.

So, if you're sitting comfortably.....