Sad

Where do I start with this one. It's gonna be a long one.

The child with the ankle socks, is my daughter Lucy who will be 12 this year.
The other child, is Danae. Lucy's best friend who moved to blackpool around 4yrs ago.
This was their 1st day of Primary 1.
Our families used to live next door to each other and they very quickly became friends from nursery age.
Lucy has never interacted with any other girl 'friend' like she did with Danae. There was something special between these two and Lucy was gutted when she moved away.
They kept in touch via the Xbox and the occasional phonecall.
I always meant to get down to visit them, but you know how it is, finances, time. Etc. The last time I spoke to my friend, Danae's mum, was nearing the end of June there. I intended to get the kids to blackpool. As it turned out I couldn't afford it at that time and we vowed........ 'next year'.

I received such sad news last week.
Danae, took ill suddenly. She had a massive fit from which she never regained consciousness. Her life support machine was switched off on Friday, just 2 short days later. She was 11 years old.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a child. Because having to break the news to my girls, to Lucy in particular, was horrific enough. I worried myself sick, literally, from Friday to Monday, when they finally came home from their holiday with their dad. I worried about Lucy more in a way because she can be a very deep girl. Her reaction was so painful to witness.
Lucy is stronger than I gave her credit for though. She's ok. I think. Ups and downs and I'm keeping a close eye on her, but she's coping. Kids react to grief in such a different way than adults do, it's very strange to watch.

The funeral is Wednesday. I'm taking Lucy with me because I feel instinctively that she needs to be there. To have closure. To say goodbye.

We're going to blackpool after all. I just wish that it wasn't for this :(