What to Do if Nothing Works?

You can write about erring while going for a beautiful walk. Or you can write on a blocking laptop when you were just on your way for a relaxed piece of work. You can write about feeling down and without energy when She is inviting you to fondle and have a laugh at things. You can write about surmounting, overcoming, transcending the I-centered feelings, hang-ups, impossibilities of your everyday experiences of your fixations into a small, closed selfish worldperspective.

You can write a thousand Journals with poietical and smart-minded, spiritual advises, do’s and don’ts to open up creatively by letting go all your frustrations, anxieties, worries by exercising mindfullness, swimming or biking or walking, meditating new ways into Being. You can read a thousand books on self healing therapy, you can pray and pray and pray, but what do you do when it turns out that Nothing Works At All? And when it turns out that again and again you are trapped in erring, blocking computers, feeling down, ineffective scribbling, useless advises read by Nobody, what do you do? Repeat those exercises that will not work in the End? What?

I Really do not Know...what to answer here. And most probably, there are no answers at all. So, I went outside into the evening darkness. I took a deep breath, looked around and up into that sky which I had pictured some hours ago. And I looked down over the small barely illuminated town of Bad Karlshafen. Which has been build as a permanent Asylum for the Huguenots, fleeing all over Europe. Fleeing massacre and persecution. As are the Yezidi’s and Christians in today’s Middle-East or Babylon. What am I complaining about, I thought, as I closed the door and turned the key, twice. It is time to go to bed.