comfort food, dissonance, and seasons

it was a bad day. can you tell by the photo? blatantly searching for something in that twix ice cream bar and orangina. liz lemon style.

i felt the opposite of peace today. i dont think there was a reason either. which almost makes it more disconcerting.

dissonant.

dissonant is probably the best way to describe it.

i must say - i think the weather has to have a large part in this. and its only february. good lord.

earlier today i pretended like it was spring. i turned my space heater on high, opened the blinds to let the sun shine, and wore a tshirt in my house. i forgot to remember it was actually winter outside, so needless to say, i was inappropriately dressed for the weather. walking home in the bitter cold i felt the stark contrast between last year and this year. last year i was so wildly happy to be alive that i almost felt like it was spring in my heart and life all through the winter. this year i was pretending like it was spring. and the pretending ended not so pleasantly. it made me sad to realize this year im longing for spring and unable to find it this winter. i guess thats how seasons of life work as well.

sometimes i wish the seasons didnt affect me so much.