A really interrupted sleep last night; I was awake every hour. Woke 9ish and got up. Sat on the sofa until 11.30am where I had a shower and got dressed ready for my midday visit.

We talked about how I felt, what the plan was for today and what I was thinking. A really helpful visit and the nurse today was so understanding and empathetic. I still feel so weak for feeling like I do and blame myself for all of this happening. I was reassured that it isn’t my fault but I don’t believe it.
After an hour he left, with me promising I would follow my plan for the day; go get a stamp and post my sick line and put some washing away. I felt that was what I could cope with today.

So when he left I went and got my stamp and posted the letter. Came home and lay on the sofa ignoring the washing. Hazily I watched tv. Self-harmed and cried.

Along to the counsellors tonight where we discussed the last week. A teary session, but helpful. I’m just not sure I can do what she would like me to do.

I like going for a wander along the pier before counselling and tonight these glasses were hanging on the wall. I hope the person can see without them to be able to find them.