The innocence of a child

Today has been a battle of war between my head and my heart.....

Head

Pre-feasibility, non-pecuniary, legal entity, full moratorium, funding strategies and grant applications are all an everyday part of my vocabulary at the moment. My telephone manner is being exercised regularly and my typing proficiency is back on par with my days of being a secretary.

I have a two year old and two four year olds to voice my suggested sentence formations to; who, as you'd expect, reply with "I need a wee" or "I'm watching tele".

My family, friends and other services are being amazingly supportive. There are times where I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but that is a split second moment and I remember that this isn't a one person crusade, I'm doing it to help others.

I am a person who likes to help; I like to help people and I like to help other services. I will often offer any and all help that I can give and if there's a time that I can't, I'll more than likely know someone else who can help. As my mum said today, I have a "can do" attitude.

I will not be deterred by petty "tit for tat" behaviour, I am likely to upset some people along the way. But understand this; it's not through hate or vengeance that I have acted as I have - it's because I see the bigger picture and a better future.

Heart

My heart beats with the love for Peach and my girls. I love them unconditionally and will protect them for as long as my heart beats.

I believe that my role as a parent is to raise my children to become kind, considerate, educated, respectful and inquisitive people. I want them to learn about everything around them, love unconditionally and question all that they have to gain from life (ok the questions can sometimes be a bit much but they're learning).

I know I'm far from perfect, I have seen for myself the affect my insecurities have on DM, I recognise parts of her behaviour that mirror mine. And when I noticed it recently, I apologised to her and spoke to her about it. And together we are working on changing that behaviour.

When I see other adults inflicting their own adult opinions on children, it upsets me.

For instance, as an adult, why would you ask a child under the age of 10 to keep a secret? Surely in today's society we are to be seen to encourage our children to be open and honest, to talk about everything and allow them the freedom of speech. Surprises, yes I like surprises, ask a child to keep it a surprise by all means. But a secret? Doesn't a secret imply to a child that it's not for everyone to know and as a child they are expected then to not talk openly about what they know?

If we ask a child to keep a secret are we not then allowing them to then decide what in their own life they keep a secret? Why are we introducing them to such behaviour when it's a time of their life that we need them to be as vocal as possible?

It's not just about telling them a secret though, it's the pressure on them to keep the secret. And what if they do tell someone? Are they going to get into trouble? Or as we have experienced, if they do tell someone, do they then become upset and resentful towards the person they have spoke to because that person has told an adult or someone else?

They are children!!! Please let them be!

Stop putting your own adult insecurities and opinions in the mind of a child. Give them the freedom to experience life, to love who they want to love and be who they want to be!