Walking into Café Nero this morning I felt like an outsider, it was apparent there were a lot of regulars with their papers.

It was an early morning rise to get up to the Royal Ed Hospital for my appointment. It was after a bad night where I ended up phoning the hospital for support. All I could think was ‘this all needs to end and I know how to end it’. It was a helpful call; I took more diazepam and a sleeping tablet and eventually got to sleep.

My session this morning was ok and I left feeling calmer. I came home and slept for 4 hours. I still feel exhausted and spaced out.