Looking to the future

A day of many emotions, all of them bad.

As soon as the referendum results started it was clear many people in Scotland had decided to accept we were North Britain rather than a proud nation and go with Westminster. Second in was the result from Eilean Siar, a small part of my Celtic pride died when you heard the result read out in Gaelic gleefully approving overlordship of the Outer Hebrides. At this point it cuts to the better together champagne party with Tory and labour activists laughing and hugging each other yards from a foodbank.

The result from Dundee could have been positive and my work worthwhile but it was wrapped in indications that the South of the country had capitulated. Even worse to come was the result from Aberdeen city - which was an embarrassment to the North East, but it got worse as Aberdeenshire was even more pathetic and then my home area of a Moray also went against independence. Area after area outwith Glasgow, North Lanarkshire and West Dumbartonshire fell to bitter together.

After a few hours sleep I awoke to a nightmare and for a first time felt so ashamed of being Scottish. My Croatian friends who had to fight for their freedom and lost friends were asking what had happened and were bemused - as was I. A sinking feeling all day with at 4pm Alex Salmond doing what he had to do to keep our cause going put another downer on things.

It them started to be clear 18 hours after the polls shut that the Scottish people had been lied to as Ed Milliband refused to go along with Cameron's plans and the first day plan on the much proclaimed timetable was out the window. Cameron also described the promised new powers as meaningless. We will not forget the betrayal by Scottish labour in the guise of Gordon Brown and I am sure the public will punish them.

On the way home news reached me of trouble at George square in Glasgow at the Yes gathering. The small amount of unionists waving better together boards quickly swelled and scuffles broke out. Pictures show the unionist nazi saluting in front of the cenotaph, burning saltires stolen from yes supporters, groups of men attacking young girls and attacking police. Reports flooded twitter of assaults, bars locked as they had been attacked, racist incidents against Asian and Black bystanders, police being attacked and the ubiquitous bigotry. The whole scene is disgusting and shows the real story of attacks and intimidation of this campaign which went unreported by the media.

I have really enjoyed my campaigning and getting out to speak to people and help form the way they vote. I also feel very angry after meeting so many disabled people about the totally immoral bedroom tax and want to keep the fight going against it and for independence. Many of us 45%ers (the name we have given to each other) have been signing up to the political party's supporting the Yes campaign. SSP are not for me and it was between Green and SNP - but I opted joining the SNP but won't forget my green credentials. 1.6 million of us in many parties will continue the fight for Scottish independence and fight for additional powers.