Gordon is a moron

This song by Jilted John was part of an unholy trinity of music that soundtracked my time at school. The other two were The Gay Gordons and Flash Gordon.
Gordon is a moron is about a hurt jealous person whose girlfriend ditches him for the eponymous other. It is a feeble attempt at pretending you don't care. La la la la I'm not listening. However, in school the Gordon is a moron!!! was the refrain they loved to use and slag me with because, you know: my first name's Gordon.

Yesterday I was at a party. At this party was a girl who I fancied but left it too late to make my feelings known. By the time I plucked up the courage she had met someone else. His name was Gordon.
At the party a group had gathered in the corner of the kitchen. An intimate group of family and loved ones. There was even the ripe romance of new love. So the banter was joyously high. This girl was there and my name kept getting mentioned. I was just across the kitchen after all. But, and here was the uncanny thing, every time Gordon was mentioned it was in reference to the other one, and he wasn't there.
It was such a strange feeling hearing your name over and over and knowing that it is nothing to do with you. How ingrained we are into embodying our name, if even only in our own mind.
Suddenly I could hear the name objectively. I could hear it without any reference to myself. Myself had nothing to do with this girl and that Gordon. I was surprisingly peaked at this. It pricked my pride, I guess. It was as if I wasn't there. That the wrong Gordon was there.

This Gordon went down to parklea in Port Glasgow this morning at low tide. He took this image of the timber ponds on the Clyde, with all the muck exposed. As all my insecurities were exposed last night as my sense of who I am, my very name, retreated. I felt hurt and jealous. Gordon is a moron ! Gordon is a mo-oron !!