The Morning Moon

If I thought yesterday was tough the night was much harder. My door went at 8.45pm; Kelly had brought Lewis to see me as they were walking past my house to get home after the party. It was only meant to be on til 5pm but everybody had had a good time and stayed.

Unfortunately in tow was Steven and Mum both drunk. My Aunt had gone back to her B&B as she wasn’t bothered about seeing me. Steven ended up spending the whole time in the bathroom throwing up and Mum was Mum but worse. No one asked how I was, as I sat feeling ill and wanting them to go. I can’t even say I had a nice time with Lewis.

They left and I ended up in tears. I was looking forward to some company and that is what I got 
I cut, took tablets and couldn’t stop shaking. I phoned the hospital, the nurse took me through some breathing exercises and she talked and I tried to listen.. She told me to keep doing the breathing and she would phone back in 5mins. She did and talked some more.

Eventually got to sleep and woke up and immediately started to cry again.

A successful nurse visit this morning, just nice to talk to someone. She advised me to take Diazepam every 4hrs for the day and is going to phone me back after speaking to the Dr. She asked me to take one while she was there. She stayed until I stopped shaking and it had started to take effect. Given I stumbled into my bookcase while getting them I was glad she did.

After speaking to the Dr, she did phone back and I’ve been advised to start taking the new anti- depressants; not happy but got to do I as I am told.

Tomorrow I wait for a phone call to see if I am getting a visit from the OT or the psychiatrist.

Today has been a diazepam haze.

(I have typed this in stages on word as I can’t look at a screen for long without wanting to shut my eyes. The dizziness continues. I apologise for any spelling errors or grammar issues but I can’t bear to read it back).