On high authority

We went for a walk in Bushy Park this afternoon and I couldn't help smiling at this sign.

We wondered if a simple 'KEEP OFF THE ICE - OR YOU COULD DROWN' or 'KEEP OFF THE ICE - OR THE COCKY WATCHMAN* WILL GET YOU' would be more effective.

Of course, it can be dangerous to go on 'the ice'. Only now I have an image of the Rt. Hon Ben Bradshaw MP skating after people and meting out merciless penalties in his capacity as Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport.

And what would those punishments be? 'You shall go to the archives and watch 10 episodes of Crossroads' maybe. Or even worse, 'Here, have these front row tickets for Jedward'.

There was no ice anyway, so curiosity couldn't get the better of us..

* Insert regional alternative for park warden.