Blue sky blues

Yesterday in a tense meeting with his father it was decided that Josh would go and live with him more permanently. After I came back from Washington he'd said he wanted to stay living with me and I thought that was the end of it, so this was something of a shock to me and left me feeling bereft and lost. I didn't handle the meeting well and reacted badly to the insinuation that I am a bad mother. Usually I'm better at this and don't react. So now I'm lost and cross with myself too.

Josh goes tomorrow. I wasn't ready for my boy to leave.

Kate came over and we walked across to South Hinksey to clear our heads, bumping into Tanya walking her dogs on the way. As we left Kate told me how she was preparing for her children leaving home… seeing it as an opportunity. She's had more time to get ready for this, though, so I'm not quite up to where she is, but I'll try….