Down to the wire!

I stayed an extra day in big smoke of Glasgow to be in to let the big blue shed people deliver the wardrobe...only it never came! They did phone to explain that as two screws were missing, it would not be delivered until Monday (Two screws! I ask you) Anyhows we decided to come home. Loaded our stuff plus doggies into van & set off up the road.
I noticed that the alternator light had come on, not a good sign and by the time we were about three quarters of the way up, every damn light on the dashboard was flashing like a 70's disco! The wipers crawled to an almost halt, the window went up ever so slow, the ABS decided to disengage. I didn't realise how much I relied on it till I had to stop suddenly! then the dogs came flying into the front!
Proceeding at a more sedate speed, we came on no fewer than 6 sets of traffic lights & convoy systems on the pesky road. By this point I'm thinking who has put the hex on me! Then I realised that my speedo had stopped working. At this point hubby starts scrabbling in the big stupid plastic box he keeps to annoy me for emergencies and pulled out the satnag . He then proceeded to read the speed of the thing almost driving me to distraction! and I was about to bite him, when at Lochgilphead who should we see but the pigs I mean the boys in blue with attendant speed trap! At this point hubby began reading the damn speed sounding like something out of one of these old war films when the submarine guy would read the echo sounder of some overhead battle ship!. I grinned and bore his eccho sounds and drove gently past the local cop guns and finally up the brae home! He had said to me about an hour before to leave the engine running when we got home so he could take the van to the garage! Yes you guessed it... I turned it off, hubby goes into overdrive saying I told you to leave it running but to me that was about a million years ago when he said that. One jump start later and sick van is in the garage
Only problem now is BOTH vehicles are sick! & I need the van most as I have tours arranged for next week! AAARARGGHHHHH