decision

I've been reclusive the past few days, hiding myself under blankets and leaves of lined pages, trying to build an emotional bunker that will hide me from the awful task that awaits me at sunrise.

I don't want to do this but I absolutely need to.
I desperately want pity but I don't deserve it.

So I cryptically vent on another journal and disappear into the folds once again.

Like the other women in my family, I will make it through and I will stand tall against the wind.
But till then my fortress beckons.
I hide.