Lego Saga Episode 9

Our intrepid Lego punks have been through some trials and tribulations already in their search for stardom, but the biggest threat of all is looming over them. Chief Wiggum appears to have caght Sidney with the stolen Sax, and has him in handcuffs leading him off to the slammer. However a familiar helmet has turned up for alittle guest spot, and a star struck time has decided to forget the band for a bit and have a drink.

Tim: Bad form Sidney, letting him catch you.

Sidney: Yeah I know. He's the worlds worst police officer and somehow I've ended up handcuffed to him. I don't even want the bloddy sax...

Chief Wiggum: Shut up scumbag. It's off to Springfield Jail for you.

Sidney: Crumbs.

Whilst Sidney is led away, the non nerdy racist smug one one from Top Gear suddenly shows up.

The Stig: Alright. Are you Tim?

Tim: Yeah, wow The Stig. How ae you? I would ask why you're here but I'm guessing an impulse ebay buy has seen you join the expanding collection of Lego this supposed grown man has.

The Stig: That's right. In the near future I suspect there will be a comic unmasking where I'll be revealed as someone else who has been immortalised in Lego, like Batman or Krusty the Clown.

Tim: Are you Batman or Krusty the Clown?

The Stig: No, although I can't say that otherwise the arrogant racist one from Top Gear will try and sue me. Shall we have a drink?

Tim: Indeed. May I suggest a nice Sloe Vodka? The guy who writes this odd little blog has got two bottles of it brewing ready for Xmas. They tried it today and it's apparently very good.

The Stig: What shall we drink to? Personally I'd like to drink to new ideas, as in new ideas for a bloody blip. I mean seriously this photo is almost identical to yesterday.

Tim: Except it doesn't feature Brian. I'd personally like to drink to gay rights activist Harkey Milk who was killed 36 years ago this past week in San Francisco. He was the first openly gay man to hold a position of public office in the United States. Although I'm not gay (I'm not sure Lego can be sexualised) I do believe all men are born equal and therefore his work hlped to advance the gay movement.

The Stig: Alright. I'll drink to that.

Tim: Now I suppose I ought to think about what to do next. I mean my lead singer has just been led away in handcuffs, by guitarist is Johnny Cash which isn't a bad thing, but my drummer is Santa and as far as I'm aware he isn't actually that great on the drums. What do you suggest The Stig?

The Stig: Well firstly I suggest a week off. I'm not sure that a grown man taking Lego away to a five day training course in Northampton is a good idea.

Tim: Okay, point taken. After that?

The Stig:Well I forsee an unmasking of me, which should be good. Sometime after that there's going to be an interview for you in a news studio and a guest slot on a chat show of some kind. Then I expect this first series of Lego to be wrapped up by a big gigin a football stadium or something similar.

Tim: That'll cover all of the Lego props that have been bought then I guess?

The Stig: Indeed. After that I suggest that 'he' gets off the bloody sofa and goes and takes some pictures of something other than us. Although the odd person has found this amusing I don't really see how you're going to get much more life out of it.

Tim: F*ck you The Stig. I'm a rock and roll star and I'm going to live forever.

Will Tim live forever? Who is the Stig? Is it acceptable to take Lego away with you when on a residential training course? I suspect I know the answers to all of those questions, and you lot certainly know the answer to at least one.

Tune in tomorrow for a picture of something drab like my hotel room or the training centre, accompanied by a few lines about what it is I'm doing or something that I'm thinking. Then tune in Tuesday through Friday for pretty much the same.

Riveting.


Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10