You Get What You Pay For

A tenner buys you a night in the room
with the boarded up window.
A mug of tea and a slice of toast
for breakfast is £1.50.

There is no en suite.
You can use the facilities
at the end of the second floor corridor.

Electricity is on a pay as you go meter
should you need to boil a kettle
or make use of the little heater.
So you’ll need some coins.

There’s no TV.

But for only £17.50
you can have the luxury room
on the second floor
and stare forlornly out to sea.

There is a TV.
(The remote might require batteries.
Two. AA).

Breakfast (included) is a mug of tea
and a bacon sandwich.

The en suite is out of order.
Hence the extremely reasonable price.
There are facilities
at the end of the corridor.

Yes, of course all the doors lock.
Sort of.

That’s it. Just the two
rooms available at the moment.
Major refurbishment.
More available by Easter Summer.

Read the small print.

There’s a fifty quid fine
if you post a bad review online
or in a travel magazine.

Don’t talk to me about hygiene.
You get what you pay for.

"You told the man"