Sunshine and shadows

A beautiful, bright day...up at the crack of dawn, even before the robins. I woke the robins up, in fact...they started tweedling as soon as I walked outside with the dog. She had an early brekkie, an early walk and then a trip to the vet for an ultrasound to see why the bladder infection she's had for two months won't clear up.

If we are lucky, she'll be with us for another two months as her bladder is being invaded by a large, aggressive, cancerous tumor. Even without the tests we've had a feeling for a while that she may not be with us by summer. Even with all the conversations we've had about accepting and coping with the fact that her time is up, it's a sad day. Fifteen years is an incredible run for a dog her size.

From now till we have no choice but to have her put to sleep, she's going to get showered with love..well..more love (if that's possible) plus she gets to visit with her two handsome boyfriends for a week starting this weekend.

I say all this* hoping that no one will be sad or feel the need to try and console me. People with animals have all been through it, it's just a part of having animals. The best part of it is that she has no clue...we're acting completely normal. If she did know she would probably be bummed out and if she could hold a pen and had the urge to write, it might go something like this:

If I could be a shadow
I would stretch long and short
run across fields and things
without any effort

I could be here now and there later
unconfined by a dying shell
holding me prisoner, letting me down

I would follow you around
Make shade for you
Never ever leave you


*thought about not mentioning anything but it is, after all, what my day has been about.