The camera will mainly lie

You'd assume from this picture that I can play a guitar with enough competence to entertain young children.
The reality is that: I can't; the guitar wasn't plugged in; I wasn't even hitting the strings (because Tilly told me to be quiet); Tilly was dancing to Ragtime cowboy Joe and pretending to sing through a mic that wasn't plugged in either.
What a pretentious lot.
Chatting to Marcus today I discovered today that I have Pine nut mouth. I thought I had some kind of throat infection but it turns out to be the homemade Pesto I ate the other day. Waitrose pine nuts have never bothered me but the latest ones I got from Morrisons. Some sufferers even state that they have had to spit wine out. They must have it really bad.